We are constantly on the look out for what we want next. We manifest, pray, wish and dream, in hopes that “x, y, z” will show up in our lives at any moment. But how much room do we really have in our lives for these dreams? How much empty space do we have in our minds, hearts, and external lives to welcome in something new?
Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all always filling up our space with thoughts, beliefs, words, actions, relationships, activities etc… Everything we have in our life is the result of a “this or that” choice, whether we made those choices consciously or unconsciously. Part of that energetic space is occupied with the dreaming and wishing. So we think that when we finally “get” what we want and we don’t have to spend all that time and energy praying for something, then that will free up the space needed.
But then we do get “x, y, z”, and our minds don’t waste a single second in moving onto the next dream, goal or wish. The process has begun all over again, except now we have what we wanted. And all too often we don’t have the mental or emotional space to fully be present with it. To enjoy it and be grateful, without our mind always jumping into the future again. Or worse, we let the new “job, relationship, activity, etc” consume much more of our energy, mental and physical space than we had planned for.
We all know the surge of feelings and adrenaline that flood in when something new and exciting is happening. When your brain won’t shut up or slow down, and you feel wrapped up in a happy bubble that surely will never burst. But with so much new incoming, something old has got to go. This doesn’t mean we should push away new things or that they are “bad” in any way. But the pitfall of having more choices and options than before, is that we don’t always choose sustainable ones.
We get caught up in excitement and freshness, and we can neglect or forget the things that truly nurture and support our wellbeing, inside and out. Perhaps the things you used to love to do on a quiet Tuesday night or Sunday morning now fall to the way side to make room for the new relationship. The friends you loved connecting with over drinks after work, you no longer have time to see because you finally got the promotion.
So how can we prepare for the exciting and perhaps long-deserved influx of “newness” that results from our manifesting? Without losing time and space for the people and things that we value and don’t want to neglect? Here are some tools that helped me in finding balance through times of energetic upheaval.
1. Know Yourself Deeply
This is the first and most important step to most things in life, and yet we still try to rush or skip over it. When you make the time and space to get to know yourself, what you need, what makes you feel good, what makes you feel bad, what helps you most when you feel sad, afraid, or unmotivated – then you will know what your negotiables and non-negotiables are. When building a life for yourself that truly feels supportive, abundant, and fulfilling – deeper knowledge of yourself is crucial.
2. Determine Your Trade-Offs
We all only have so much mental, physical, and emotional space at any given moment. This means we are always making “this or that” choices, whether we are aware of it or not. By looking at what things in your internal and external world you truly value and which are just space-fillers, you can move into any new situation with greater confidence and clarity that you won’t cut out something that is important to you. This is all part of preparing yourself to maintain your balance when receiving.
3. Clear Out the Space-Fillers
We’ve all heard that we should clear out the toxic things, events, activities and relationships in our lives that serve no purpose. If you feel you are throwing aspects of your time, physical or emotional energy down metaphorical waste bins, then its time to get very honest and very discerning. When you envision your highest self and dream life, what parts of your life now have no place in that vision? As much of a pain as it might be to remove certain things from your energetic space now, your future self will thank you tenfold for being proactive in eliminating the junk.
4. Leave Room for a Buffer Zone
Buffers are an exceedingly helpful tool when it comes to balancing our priorities when new commitments or relationships enter. By giving yourself enough extra time and space in your schedule with each task, activity or commitment, you leave room for the natural flow of life to unfold. During exciting periods of life, we all know what its like to forget the little tasks we need to complete to keep our lives running smoothly. This will help you lift the feeling of pressure to micromanage yourself during a time in your life when you feel preoccupied with bigger things you would much rather be doing.
5. Hold the Empty Space
Holding space can be difficult and bring up feelings of loneliness, fear, insecurity, and uncertainty. All of these feelings only trigger our knee-jerk reaction to fill the space even more. Mastering the art of truly holding empty space in your life, both internally and externally, is one of the most beneficial things you will ever learn to do. When we aren’t afraid of that emptiness, when the “hole” inside us or around us no longer has power over us, we are utterly free. We then can take discerning action and move forward to fill the spaces of our minds, hearts, and lives with only the best for us. That is where our power lies. In our ability to bravely hold space and trust that with patience and alignment, the right opportunities will come our way. And now when they do, we will have plenty of space to properly welcome them in.
6. Open Yourself to Receive
Once you’ve cleared away the clutter and gotten more comfortable holding space, staying open and receptive can ignite feelings of fear as well. There is much uncertainty that lies ahead of you, and wondering if and when you will receive your desires can be a downward spiral. This time will require a great amount of trust from you - trust in yourself, trust in The Universe, trust in your new partner, job, home, etc… It will require you to stay open despite the not-knowingness and without micromanaging what The Universe sends your way. When you have done the inner and outer work, and you feel you can trust your alignment, the last step is to stay open to the magic unfolding whenever and however it sees fit.
7. Keep Perspective with Where You Were
Staying stuck in the past is never a healthy or productive thing, but forgetting where you came from or what you’ve been through isn’t optimal either. When we do receive what we have desperately wanted, it can be easy to forget what it felt like when your current reality was only a dream. At one point or another, we have all taken things for granted on varying levels. Keeping perspective with where you have just come from can help you in remembering how to sustain this new lifestyle and truly thrive. Instead of experiencing a rapid high and destructive crash. The beauty of mistakes is that we can learn from them and do something different next time, but they don’t help much if we don’t pull from our experience and wisdom in those times of need.
Embracing our ability to grow and learn is our best asset in creating a sustainably radiant life. Proper planning during a slow or perceived lonely and empty time, will result in a bigger pay off and less stress down the road when you have “more” to keep track of in your energetic space. We don’t need to be afraid of expanding any area of our lives, but we will be grateful if we handle the expansion with preparation, self awareness, self compassion, discernment, courage, and trust.