Ever Worry That You’re
Not Good Enough?
by Connie Chapman
Eckhart Tolle is one of my favourite people to listen to when I need a check-up. I don’t know if it is the calm, slow way in which he speaks or the simple, yet profound guidance be provides, but listening to his talks on my ipod instantly grounds me and leaves me feeling calm and completely at ease.
I was recently listening to one of these talks where an audience member asked about how to deal with feelings of not being good enough, and primarily the thoughts that “there is something wrong with me”. As I listened to this audience member share their struggle with unsupportive self-talk, a lack of self-love and limiting beliefs, I realised just how common this thought pattern is. I too have struggled with these types of feelings, and it is a common thread that weaves through the everyone of the clients I work with also.
As this man continued with this story about these thought patterns, Eckhart Tolle simply listened and chuckled lovingly.
And then he replied
“…that feeling that something is wrong with you, is not a personal problem of yours. It is a universal, human condition. You may be surprised to know that there are millions… billions of people on the planet who have the same thought pattern. It is part of the human ego…”
This is a significant problem that is facing our whole society and I believe it stems from one basic issue
We have all forgotten who we are.
You are not the voice in your head. You are not your thoughts. And just because you have been telling yourself that you are not good enough for 10, 20, 30 years, does not mean that it is the truth.
So, if you (like 99% of the people on the planet) are struggling with feelings of not being good enough, here are a couple of practices that may help.
Unveil The Ego
Start to recognise that the voice you are hearing is not who you really are. It is the voice of your ego or fear. It is the voice that wants to protect you and keep you safe. It wants to stop you taking risks, putting yourself out there, being vulnerable, playing big and following your heart. Basically, it is afraid. Rather than just accepting your limiting, fear-based voice as truth, start to become aware of this pattern and question or challenge it.
First ask yourself – Where is this pattern playing out in my life the most? Does this pervade all areas of my life, or just some of them? Do I feel not good enough at work, about my appearance, in relationships etc.. ?
Is is true that you are not good enough? How do you know? Do you have any past experiences or memories to show that there are times where you have been great at something?
Challenge what the ego is sharing with you, rather than just accepting it.
Remember Who You Really Are
When you really know who you are, the fear of not being good enough disappears. At your core you are perfect, whole and complete. You are enough, in fact, you are more than enough. You are love. You are beautiful. You are amazing.
There is nothing broken, wrong or incomplete about you. When you start to reconnect with who you really are , you can see that all of these fears are just an illusion.
To start to reinforce this new truth. Stop telling yourself crappy stories and start telling yourself empowering stories. Focus on the things that are great about you. Acknowledge your successes. Speak to yourself in loving ways and practice affirmations.
Connect With Truth
I use meditation to help me drop out of the ego and in to my truth.
When I sit in meditation and my mind quietens, I am reconnected with the loving presence that always exists inside of me. This is how I come home.
Start your own journey of seeking the truth. What is truth to you? Read books by authors who explore spiritual philosophies and share messages about the truth of life. Work with a life coach to help break down your ego and reconnect you with your true essence. Explore a range of therapies and practices such as yoga. Do not just accept what you see or what you have been told. Become a truth-seeker and do not stop until you find the core principles that feel more true than anything else you have ever heard.