3 Habits for Building Self Esteem
by Louise Hay
If you would like to build your self-esteem, remember to love yourself daily.
Many people don’t practice building self-esteem daily because they don’t realize that it’s something that they can learn to do, no matter what experiences they have had in life.
The key to starting the process is to recognize that self-esteem, self-love, self-worth—whatever you feel drawn to calling it—is a seed that grows if you water it.
How do you begin to grow your self-esteem? You start by recognizing that you deserve to be loved. You deserve to love yourself.
Sounds like such a simple thing to do, right?
The truth is: one of the things we struggle with the most in life is being true to ourselves. When we have been hurt in the past, we sometimes hide parts of ourselves so we can protect ourselves from being hurt again.
One of the reasons I talk about loving yourself is that when we practice loving ourselves, we develop a certain trust that brings us closer to being true to ourselves.
For some of us, this is easier said than done. If you’re finding that you’re saying or doing things just to appease others, then you’re denying your soul’s purpose.
You’re denying yourself happiness.
I encourage you to practice loving yourself often, because it’s the best way to get closer to who you are.
Begin to Trust Yourself
Many times we find that we’re unsure of ourselves. We constantly second-guess our decisions, or we make them based on others around us. Why are we so willing to trust others, but not ourselves?
It can be difficult to not suppress your true self in a world that is so quick to judge or compare you to others. We learn from our culture or parents, and we start to judge ourselves constantly, because that’s what we’re taught.
That is no way to live a happy and loving life. You’ll constantly be chasing something that is untrue to your Divine being.
The Benefits of Being True to Yourself
There is no wrong way or right way to build self-esteem. Your inner child or inner compass is there to guide you. Trust it. Love yourself and always be true to the best version of yourself.
Being true to your self is a constant decision that we make daily.
Life is a learning experience. Sometimes we make decisions true to us, and sometimes we don’t. It’s OK because we learn.
We are not defined by the mistakes we make. Allow yourself to let go of your negative self-talk, and love yourself.
When you do this, you will noticed many powerful shifts inside of you, such as:
When we love ourselves in each situation, we learn to be the best version of ourselves. We become more compassionate towards ourselves, and we stop judging ourselves based on past decisions or actions. We learn from our mistakes, and move on to the next moment. When we are compassionate with ourselves and others, it’s easier to adapt to changes in our life and to bounce back from hardship faster.
Being your true self moment after moment makes you courageous and strong. When challenges or anxieties mount, you might feel the pressure, but you face them with grace, because you learn that you can count on yourself—your true self—to do your best, whether you fail or succeed!
When we express our true self we become comfortable in our skin and a weight is lifted off our shoulders. Self-berating diminishes, and with time, we’re less worried about the future. We are comfortable in the present, and we no longer carry the past around with us.
We pay attention to the present, and it brings us comfort to be here—no matter where we are.
You’ll notice that when you practice trusting your inner voice that your relationships with others will change. You’ll start surrounding yourself with people who help you or encourage you to be yourself. You will not spend so much time around people who drain your energy, and you’ll gravitate towards others who inspire the best in you.
5. We Get Our Needs Met
We in turn live a happy, fulfilling life. We get our needs met because we trust what we’re doing each day in each moment. We know that we deserve to be happy, and we have hope, and the belief in the value of pursuing our dreams.
3 Habits for Building Self-Esteem
There are many ways to help you build self-esteem along your journey to being your true self. Here are 3 of my favorite daily tools for loving yourself:
1. Keep a journal.
Write down your experiences, how you felt about them and whether you felt you dealt with it in way that aligned with your inner voice. If you felt upset toward someone, did you confront them or hide it? The more you write down and notice when you’re doing what’s best for you, the more you get close to expressing your true being more often.
2. Practice Meditation.
There is no better way than to relax, breathe and rest your thoughts. This is a great time to practice affirmations and reflect on what you want for your life.
Below I share a meditation for increasing your self-love and self-worth. Self-esteem can become a habit when you practice loving yourself every day.
3. Practice Mirror Work or Tapping.
Looking into your eyes and expressing your true feelings is a great way to discover your underlying fears and finally face them with compassion.
Many people think that affirmations are my most powerful tool, and yes, affirmations are powerful, but the truth is, that affirmations are most powerful when combined with tapping or mirror work. My friend Robert Holden, Ph.D. helped me create a free video series about how to do mirror work. You can watch the free series here.
Louise Hay is the founder of Hay House. She has authored several New Thought
self-help books, including the best-selling You Can Heal Your Life.